You is all a bunch of poofs!

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5521

Post by Service Dog » Fri Jun 21, 2019 4:30 pm

Matt Cavanaugh wrote: Speaking noise-signal ratios, I just discovered I have Apophenia. Or rather, I discovered it's a thing with a name, and I'm not out of my fucking mind. Anyhoo, I hear faint songs when it's raining hard or the swamp cooler is running. I can make out the tunes and almost the lyrics. I've recorded me whistling what I hear and they aren't half bad. Except the other day when I got stuck listening to this phantom crappy young country station.

Okay, may need to reconsider the not-out-of-my-mind claim.
I have Afrophenia.

Day & night, I mistakenly think I hear 'music' coming from the cars of black people buying drugs downstairs.
But, when I try to discern what I'm hearing, it's not music at all! Merely a hideous background noise.

I could close my window & turn-on the air conditioner-- but then the Apophenia starts.
A-pop-henia... hip-hop-hernia... let's call the whole thing off

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5522

Post by MarcusAu » Fri Jun 21, 2019 5:53 pm

Bhurzum wrote:
I must admit, I really enjoyed it.

Whilst we're on the subject - movie suggestion: Brightburn.

Just finished watching it with the missus - she loved it, I thought it was ok. Basically, without giving too much away, it's a "Superman" origin story with one crucial difference - the alien baby who falls to Earth (and is raised by human parents) grows up to be a fucking psycho. It's very gory in places, my toes were curling at a couple of scenes and overall, it's a pretty entertaining movie. Oh, and they left it open-ended for a sequel.

One of the best executed (or at least most horrific) of the 'evil superman' tropes was in Alan Moore's Miracleman comic series (renamed from the UK Marvelman for copyright reasons). In issue 15 the protagonist and his allies arrive in London, where their adversary has been waiting for them for two hours. Probably the most violent comic ever up to that point (and possibly still) - though it was an earlier issue in which the main character's wife gave birth that proved more controversial.

It set a standard for the horror of such things that anyone else writing in the genre would have to be aware of it, even if they are reacting against it.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5523

Post by Matt Cavanaugh » Fri Jun 21, 2019 6:16 pm

Wow, Marvelman was awesome! Here, he fends off a swarm of German Focke-Trojans attempting to shoot down a beleaguered WellingA-26:

36_marvelman305FNw.jpg
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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5524

Post by AndrewV69 » Fri Jun 21, 2019 6:20 pm

Pitchguest wrote:
Fri Jun 21, 2019 2:54 pm
AndrewV69 wrote:
Colour me surprised. Not.
Speaking of colour, the article fails to mention. And no pictures. I wonder why. :think:
Oh we all know why. Muslim Indian Villagers from Pakistan who brought their culture with them. The only difference between them and Hindu Villagers is they belong to no Jati.

I may be biased about Indian Villagers but I have had enough encounters with that type of mentality to want to have nothing to do with them.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5525

Post by MarcusAu » Fri Jun 21, 2019 6:57 pm

Matt Cavanaugh wrote: Wow, Marvelman was awesome! Here, he fends off a swarm of German Focke-Trojans attempting to shoot down a beleaguered WellingA-26:
Behold, I teach you the superman. He is lightening, he is madness. As they say in the first issue.

Mick Angelo - the original artist & writer lived long enough to get some compensation for his work. So that's something.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5526

Post by Bhurzum » Fri Jun 21, 2019 7:42 pm

MarcusAu wrote: One of the best executed (or at least most horrific) of the 'evil superman' tropes was in Alan Moore's Miracleman comic series (renamed from the UK Marvelman for copyright reasons). In issue 15 the protagonist and his allies arrive in London, where their adversary has been waiting for them for two hours. Probably the most violent comic ever up to that point (and possibly still) - though it was an earlier issue in which the main character's wife gave birth that proved more controversial.

It set a standard for the horror of such things that anyone else writing in the genre would have to be aware of it, even if they are reacting against it.
One of the first comics I ever bought was "Warrior" (UK title, think it may have been released under another name overseas) - it featured some of Moore's earliest work (including Miracleman) but I bought it mainly for "Shandor: Demonstalker" - an Eastern European monk who waged war on the underworld, was utterly without mercy and could kill anything with the slightest touch.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/24/c8/6a ... 574964.jpg

Even though it was fairly short-lived, Warrior managed to secure "V for vendetta" before going down the tubes. I was an avid fan of the comic (more of a magazine tbh) but don't remember much about Miracleman - I was all about monsters, aliens and flying gizzards back then.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5527

Post by MarcusAu » Fri Jun 21, 2019 7:50 pm

Wasn't there also a scantily clad demoness in that story?

Warrior also included Zirk - which is beyond my meager abilities to describe or explain.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5528

Post by Phil_Giordana_FCD » Fri Jun 21, 2019 10:47 pm

Matt Cavanaugh wrote:
Fri Jun 21, 2019 2:57 pm
Speaking noise-signal ratios, I just discovered I have Apophenia. Or rather, I discovered it's a thing with a name, and I'm not out of my fucking mind. Anyhoo, I hear faint songs when it's raining hard or the swamp cooler is running. I can make out the tunes and almost the lyrics. I've recorded me whistling what I hear and they aren't half bad. Except the other day when I got stuck listening to this phantom crappy young country station.

Okay, may need to reconsider the not-out-of-my-mind claim.
That happens to me every time I have a hangover (alcohol withdrawal).

I shit you not.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5529

Post by MarcusAu » Fri Jun 21, 2019 11:32 pm

Tinnitus - would be a great name for a metal band.

It might even offer protection if anyone was suing for hearing loss.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5530

Post by Bhurzum » Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:35 am

MarcusAu wrote: Wasn't there also a scantily clad demoness in that story?

Warrior also included Zirk - which is beyond my meager abilities to describe or explain.
Ah, Zirk - the sweaty, perverted, greaseball alien. Yes, he/it is not easy to explain...

https://cafart.r.worldssl.net/images/Ca ... lzirk2.JPG

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5531

Post by Tigzy » Sat Jun 22, 2019 2:53 am

MarcusAu wrote: One of the best executed (or at least most horrific) of the 'evil superman' tropes was in Alan Moore's Miracleman comic series (renamed from the UK Marvelman for copyright reasons). In issue 15 the protagonist and his allies arrive in London, where their adversary has been waiting for them for two hours. Probably the most violent comic ever up to that point (and possibly still) - though it was an earlier issue in which the main character's wife gave birth that proved more controversial.

It set a standard for the horror of such things that anyone else writing in the genre would have to be aware of it, even if they are reacting against it.
Miracleman was great, but for me the standout in British-crazed-superheroness was Grant Morrison's Zenith series. I liked it because it had a super-powered Tory minister who was actually sort of...a good guy. Ish. Pretty daring for the time (and even now), given that anything with the remotest whiff of toryism was (and still is, really) generally regarded by the right-on crowd as total nazi evil. The final volume - Phase 4 - is some astonishingly trippy shit rounded off with a twist which is pretty lolworthy.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5532

Post by Bhurzum » Sat Jun 22, 2019 3:31 am

Tigzy wrote: Miracleman was great, but for me the standout in British-crazed-superheroness was Grant Morrison's Zenith series. I liked it because it had a super-powered Tory minister who was actually sort of...a good guy. Ish. Pretty daring for the time (and even now), given that anything with the remotest whiff of toryism was (and still is, really) generally regarded by the right-on crowd as total nazi evil. The final volume - Phase 4 - is some astonishingly trippy shit rounded off with a twist which is pretty lolworthy.
My absolute favourite comic-book character is "Sláine" (2000AD character):

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sl%C3%A1ine_(comics)

Even though he's not a superhero in the truest sense, the tales of his exploits are an absolute blast, are deliciously non-pc and the entire saga (massive!) is littered with some very memorable characters and plot-lines. Of particular note, the "Time Killers" story is completely mental and introduced several awesome villains into the lore: Elfric (baby killing general of a demon army - the Cyth), Guledig - the living "Triskele" ruler of the Cyth and one of my favourite villians in all of fiction, The Lord Weird Slough Feg: a rotting and seriously insane version of "The Horned God" who refuses to die (it's complicated!).

https://static.comicvine.com/uploads/or ... _weird.jpg

My parents were really worried about my fascination with Feg :lol:

Seriously though, if anyone hasn't read Sláine and are "into" comics, chances are you'll love the series. Having said that, you'd really need to start from the very begining - if you jumped in half-way, it'd be very, very confusing.


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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5534

Post by Tigzy » Sat Jun 22, 2019 6:07 am

Bhurzum wrote: My absolute favourite comic-book character is "Sláine" (2000AD character):

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sl%C3%A1ine_(comics)

Even though he's not a superhero in the truest sense, the tales of his exploits are an absolute blast, are deliciously non-pc and the entire saga (massive!) is littered with some very memorable characters and plot-lines. Of particular note, the "Time Killers" story is completely mental and introduced several awesome villains into the lore: Elfric (baby killing general of a demon army - the Cyth), Guledig - the living "Triskele" ruler of the Cyth and one of my favourite villians in all of fiction, The Lord Weird Slough Feg: a rotting and seriously insane version of "The Horned God" who refuses to die (it's complicated!).

[/img]https://static.comicvine.com/uploads/or ... _weird.jpg[/img]

My parents were really worried about my fascination with Feg :lol:

Seriously though, if anyone hasn't read Sláine and are "into" comics, chances are you'll love the series. Having said that, you'd really need to start from the very begining - if you jumped in half-way, it'd be very, very confusing.
Back in the days when Slaine could regularly upbraid his boon-companion as a 'dirty little dwarf' without controversy. Although Ukko was utterly morally reprehensible: 'Hmm. I've always fancied a nice little slave business.'

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5535

Post by SM1957 » Sat Jun 22, 2019 7:56 am

92% of left-wing activists in Berlin still live with their mother

https://www.bild.de/regional/berlin/lin ... .bild.html

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5536

Post by MarcusAu » Sat Jun 22, 2019 9:43 am

I think the 80s was the golden age of 2000 AD. With the team of Alan Grant & John Wagner having the most consistent hit record as writers- with Judge Dredd, Sam Slade: Robohunter, and Strontium Dog. All of which relied heavily on the action but with a strong component of humour. Pat Mills had several good runs too - with stuff like Robusters & ABC Warriors, Nemeis the Warlock, as well as the aforementioned Slaine. (Though you are probably going to be a bit irritated by his left bias if you read enough of his work).

Brian Talbot was writing & drawing 'Luthor Awkright' about this time. A

And there were several kids comics - the best of which were written / drawn by either Ken Reid or Leo Baxendale.

I recall seeing stuff from earlier periods in dribs & drabs too - the Trigon Empire (from Look & Learn) and the 1950s Dan Dare - both of which had excellent artwork. I always thought Robot Archie had a face to incite nightmares. (He was in the uncanny valley before it was cool).

Then there's the War comics (Battle) and the more comtemporary (Action) and the girls comics (Misty & Jinty etc) - which shared most of the same artists and writers.

All of which I would read if I had the opportunity - hell I'd check out Alley Sloper if the opportunity arose.


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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5538

Post by screwtape » Sat Jun 22, 2019 10:23 am

Parsehole - bless you, but look what you did:

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5539

Post by BoxNDox » Sat Jun 22, 2019 10:35 am

Bhurzum wrote:
Fri Jun 21, 2019 3:27 pm
BoxNDox wrote: It's also unclear to me how you "cancel" a series that's already made and released in its entirety, and which has no planned prequels or sequels.

And FWIW, I thought it was awesome. Highly recommended.
I must admit, I really enjoyed it.

Whilst we're on the subject - movie suggestion: Brightburn.

Just finished watching it with the missus - she loved it, I thought it was ok. Basically, without giving too much away, it's a "Superman" origin story with one crucial difference - the alien baby who falls to Earth (and is raised by human parents) grows up to be a fucking psycho. It's very gory in places, my toes were curling at a couple of scenes and overall, it's a pretty entertaining movie. Oh, and they left it open-ended for a sequel.

I'm in complete agreement with your assessment. Definitely worth seeing.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5540

Post by BoxNDox » Sat Jun 22, 2019 10:44 am

Good. If the special prosecutor reinstates charges, even better.

More generally, I have to say that my overall pessimism as to how things are going has been challenged by some recent events, like the $44 million verdict against Oberlin College. And then there's the Rehaif decision:

https://slate.com/news-and-politics/201 ... eform.html

Some really interesting possibilities there.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5541

Post by InfraRedBucket » Sat Jun 22, 2019 11:07 am

Talking of comics nostalgia etc. I've been perusing the extensive collections on a couple of sites lately.
Not sure how legal they are but the hell, I've been able to read issues from the 60s 70s that I've never seen.
Some of the archives overlap so if one site doesn't have a complete series sometime the other does.

https://comiconlinefree.com

https://readcomiconline.to
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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5542

Post by MarcusAu » Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:44 pm

You can credit the open-mindedness of the thinking for the individual involved - but there seems to be at least some small flaw in the execution...

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5543

Post by SM1957 » Sat Jun 22, 2019 1:15 pm

MarcusAu wrote: You can credit the open-mindedness of the thinking for the individual involved - but there seems to be at least some small flaw in the execution...
A non-binary activist asked about what sexual health advice should be given?

The issue of sexual health risks is pretty minimal for wankers - so why was the question raised?

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5544

Post by Bhurzum » Sat Jun 22, 2019 1:53 pm

Just Buzzfeed doing their thang...



"White nonsense" :roll:

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5545

Post by Service Dog » Sat Jun 22, 2019 2:24 pm

MarcusAu wrote:
Bhurzum wrote:
I must admit, I really enjoyed it.

Whilst we're on the subject - movie suggestion: Brightburn.

Just finished watching it with the missus - she loved it, I thought it was ok. Basically, without giving too much away, it's a "Superman" origin story with one crucial difference - the alien baby who falls to Earth (and is raised by human parents) grows up to be a fucking psycho. It's very gory in places, my toes were curling at a couple of scenes and overall, it's a pretty entertaining movie. Oh, and they left it open-ended for a sequel.

One of the best executed (or at least most horrific) of the 'evil superman' tropes was in Alan Moore's Miracleman comic series (renamed from the UK Marvelman for copyright reasons). In issue 15 the protagonist and his allies arrive in London, where their adversary has been waiting for them for two hours. Probably the most violent comic ever up to that point (and possibly still) - though it was an earlier issue in which the main character's wife gave birth that proved more controversial.

It set a standard for the horror of such things that anyone else writing in the genre would have to be aware of it, even if they are reacting against it.
When I saw the trailer for Brightburn... I thought of Rick Veitch's Maximortal comic.

In that telling of the Superman story-- a simple farm couple finds a muscle-bound alien baby-- who proceeds to decapitate townsfolk & torture his adopted parents.

Eventually, rather than developing nukes, the US govt puts the little shit in a bomb casing-- and drops him on Japan.

As I recall, a lot of Rich Veitch's work is based on his dream-diary.
He's very willing to present broken half-coherent imagery-- in a deadpan this-is-real style.

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com ... 3,200_.jpg


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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5547

Post by Service Dog » Sat Jun 22, 2019 2:30 pm

Maximortal free online, possibly bootleg:
https://www.viewcomics.net/the-maximortal/issue-1/full

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5548

Post by MarcusAu » Sat Jun 22, 2019 2:51 pm

Service Dog wrote: When I saw the trailer for Brightburn... I thought of Rick Veitch's Maximortal comic.
Some of the ingredients are there - though the Maximortal comes across as an amoral rather than an immoral or evil superman.

Veitch's stuff is very trippy - so it doesn't quite have the straight forward narrative that's necessary for a movie. If he's basing it on his dream diary - it would make sense that uses the same logic.

None of which means I didn't enjoy it - but it seems very much it's own thing.

Your mind is obviously working in (different) strange and unusual ways than mine if this is what the movie reminded you of.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5549

Post by Service Dog » Sat Jun 22, 2019 3:04 pm

I only saw the trailer-- half-saw it, as the ad was being forced-on me every-few-minutes, interrupting something I was watching on hulu.
I tried to mute it & ignore it-- but some vague impression of it seeped-thru.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5550

Post by Service Dog » Sat Jun 22, 2019 3:09 pm

By the way, I've been watching the old series-- The Prisoner-- on a free/no-registration-necessary/netflix-wannabe site called "Tubi".

https://tubitv.com/series/3254/the_prisoner

Some ads there, not many. Some weird stuff there, like 1957 Jerry Lewis TV specials.

In episode 4 of the The Prisoner-- #6 stands for election to become #2. It resonates with Sargon's MEP run.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5551

Post by Bhurzum » Sat Jun 22, 2019 4:44 pm

Sorry, couldn't resist it!


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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5552

Post by Lsuoma » Sat Jun 22, 2019 5:34 pm

Is BoJo beginning to be smeared?

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-48721211

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5553

Post by shoutinghorse » Sat Jun 22, 2019 11:35 pm

Lsuoma wrote: Is BoJo beginning to be smeared?

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-48721211
Seems to have backfired somewhat after the his nosey concerned neighbours were revealed to be a rich daddy's little 'left wing activist' princess and her soy boy playwright hubby who just happen to have the guardian editors desk on speed dial.

Champagne Socialists Tom & Eve.
https://i.imgur.com/d0FW3pl.jpg

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5554

Post by SM1957 » Sat Jun 22, 2019 11:39 pm

Lsuoma wrote: Is BoJo beginning to be smeared?

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-48721211
Boris Johnson wears socks inside out. The man is unfit to be Prime Minister , unlike that nice Jeremy Corbyn

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/ ... t-16782083

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5555

Post by shoutinghorse » Sun Jun 23, 2019 3:36 am

Boris Johnson is literally Adolf Hitler, Hienrich Himler, Reinhard Heydrich, Joseph Mengele, Joseph Goebbells, Benito Mussolini, Francisco Franco, Baby Doc Duvalier, Idi Amin, Eva Peron and Augusto Pinochet. Plus he has actually spoken to and been advised by none other than Steve 'Beelzebub' Bannon no less. Can you believe it? That he's going to be our next Prime Minister? OMG on steroids :o


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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5556

Post by Bhurzum » Sun Jun 23, 2019 3:49 am

shoutinghorse wrote: Boris Johnson is literally Joseph Mengele
Slayer wrote a song about him!



:character-beavisbutthead:

No further proof required.

(shameless excuse to link one of me fave songs!)

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5557

Post by ConcentratedH2O, OM » Sun Jun 23, 2019 5:14 am

shoutinghorse wrote:
Lsuoma wrote: Is BoJo beginning to be smeared?

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-48721211
Seems to have backfired somewhat after the his nosey concerned neighbours were revealed to be a rich daddy's little 'left wing activist' princess and her soy boy playwright hubby who just happen to have the guardian editors desk on speed dial.

Champagne Socialists Tom & Eve.
https://i.imgur.com/d0FW3pl.jpg
Johnson's a nasty thug, so I do wish this had come from a more sympathetic source than this pair of plastic communists.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5558

Post by Matt Cavanaugh » Sun Jun 23, 2019 8:04 am

shoutinghorse wrote: Boris Johnson is literally Adolf Hitler, Hienrich Himler, Reinhard Heydrich, Joseph Mengele, Joseph Goebbells, Benito Mussolini, Francisco Franco, Baby Doc Duvalier, Idi Amin, Eva Peron and Augusto Pinochet. Plus he has actually spoken to and been advised by none other than Steve 'Beelzebub' Bannon no less. Can you believe it? That he's going to be our next Prime Minister? OMG on steroids :o

He looks like a fat Jeff Daniels to me.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5559

Post by Matt Cavanaugh » Sun Jun 23, 2019 8:15 am

My old high school sweetheart makes some hard-hitting points on the true cost of illegal immigration. With a touch of dry humor as always:

https://thehill.com/opinion/immigration ... s-us-a-lot

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5560

Post by Matt Cavanaugh » Sun Jun 23, 2019 11:45 am

Ontario family files human rights complaint after six-year-old girl upset by gender theory in school
In January of 2018, in a Grade One class at Devonshire Community Public School, part of the Ottawa-Carleton District School Board network, six-year-old N watched a YouTube video as part of her teacher’s lesson plan on gender.

The video was entitled, “He, She and They?!?—Gender: Queer Kid Stuff #2.” The video contained statements such as, “some people aren’t boys or girls,” and that there are people who do not “feel like a ‘she’ or a ‘he,’” and therefore might not have a gender. The young teacher, continued to teach gender theory throughout the semester.... {She] told the children that “there is no such thing as girls and boys,” and “girls are not real and boys are not real.”

By mid-March, N’s parents could see the lessons were having an impact on their daughter, as she began spontaneously and repeatedly asking them why her identity as a girl was “not real.” She asked if she could “go to a doctor” about the fact that she was a girl. She said she was “not sure if she wanted to be a mommy.”

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5561

Post by screwtape » Sun Jun 23, 2019 12:59 pm

Matt Cavanaugh wrote: Ontario family files human rights complaint after six-year-old girl upset by gender theory in school
In January of 2018, in a Grade One class at Devonshire Community Public School, part of the Ottawa-Carleton District School Board network, six-year-old N watched a YouTube video as part of her teacher’s lesson plan on gender.

The video was entitled, “He, She and They?!?—Gender: Queer Kid Stuff #2.” The video contained statements such as, “some people aren’t boys or girls,” and that there are people who do not “feel like a ‘she’ or a ‘he,’” and therefore might not have a gender. The young teacher, continued to teach gender theory throughout the semester.... {She] told the children that “there is no such thing as girls and boys,” and “girls are not real and boys are not real.”

By mid-March, N’s parents could see the lessons were having an impact on their daughter, as she began spontaneously and repeatedly asking them why her identity as a girl was “not real.” She asked if she could “go to a doctor” about the fact that she was a girl. She said she was “not sure if she wanted to be a mommy.”
JBP wrote upon the case in The National Post: Jordan Peterson: Gender politics has no place in the classroom

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5562

Post by screwtape » Sun Jun 23, 2019 1:00 pm

Also, that Queer Kid Stuff channel is truly creepy. I think the teddy bear needs to be placed in protective custody.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5563

Post by Lsuoma » Sun Jun 23, 2019 2:08 pm

So, I have my first DRE tomorrow, from a rather attractive nurse practitioner. She told me when recommending I have one (I'm 60 next year) that she has a good, long strong finger. Here's hoping I manage not to do a Dr Richard C. Carrier, PhD when she presses the button.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5564

Post by Matt Cavanaugh » Sun Jun 23, 2019 2:11 pm

screwtape wrote: Also, that Queer Kid Stuff channel is truly creepy. I think the teddy bear needs to be placed in protective custody.
If that was a straight dude instead of a dyke, it'd be banned as pedophilia.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5565

Post by shoutinghorse » Sun Jun 23, 2019 2:12 pm

London Pride has been handed down to us.
London Pride is a flower that's free.
London Pride means our own dear town to us,
And our pride it for ever will be.......

Noel Coward must be spinning like a top in that grave.



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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5566

Post by mordacious1 » Sun Jun 23, 2019 3:03 pm

Lsuoma wrote: So, I have my first DRE tomorrow, from a rather attractive nurse practitioner. She told me when recommending I have one (I'm 60 next year) that she has a good, long strong finger. Here's hoping I manage not to do a Dr Richard C. Carrier, PhD when she presses the button.
She may just want to put her finger in your butt, since most relevant medical organizations don’t recommend routine DREs anymore. Not in the US anyway. YMMV

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5567

Post by Bhurzum » Sun Jun 23, 2019 3:07 pm

Lsuoma wrote: So, I have my first DRE tomorrow, from a rather attractive nurse practitioner. She told me when recommending I have one (I'm 60 next year) that she has a good, long strong finger. Here's hoping I manage not to do a Dr Richard C. Carrier, PhD when she presses the button.
Not sure if I've shared this before...

I was struck down by crippling abdominal pain and my innards completely packed in. I was going for 6-7 days without having a movement, was drenched with sweat 24/7 and was convinced the grim reaper was closing in. Anyhoo, after a month of this bullshit, I relented and suffered the indignity of going to hospital - long story short, I had picked up something nasty in Thailand (pun setup #256) which had caused diverticulitis-like signs and symptoms. Took two weeks of pills, weapons-grade laxatives and modified diet to get me lunches moving again.

Anyhoo, during the first 24 hours in the germ factory, I was "seen" by a specialist - a rather meaty and no-nonsense middle-aged woman in a designer business suit with a lab coat over the top. She was pretty fine looking and was wearing the most subtle but arousing perfume I'd ever encountered. Yes, you can see it coming (pun setup #162), part of her initial checks involved her shoving her finger up my crimper!

Now, as you'll be well aware, I'm not the most subtle of chaps and have the same sense of humour as a rabid caveman. As she was digging around in my bomb-bay, I asked her how many of my Army mates I could invite to our wedding? She paused with her investigation(s) and asked me what I was talking about? With what I thought was a cheeky/winning grin, I told her I assumed we were now engaged because she had my ring on her finger.

Seriously, no sense of humour these people.

To compound matters, she told me that I might have a "spasticated colon" (I've got no idea but it sounds bloody awful!) and when I asked if that meant having a wheel chair shoved up my arse, she went fucking mental.

Miserable cow, the face she pulled, you'd think it was her arse that had packed up.

Anyhoo, hope everything goes OK and you don't "gunge" the nurse. At the very least, I hope your nurse is open to a bit of mild banter to lighten the mood.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5568

Post by mordacious1 » Sun Jun 23, 2019 3:11 pm

I think if I had a terminal illness or was just suicidal, I’d go to the DR, stay at a fine resort and drain the mini bar, so my family could join in on the enormous payout that’s coming down the pike. I see another guy died mysteriously after drinking there. Who in their right mind would drink anything questionable in the DR right now?

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5569

Post by Bhurzum » Sun Jun 23, 2019 3:12 pm

Matt Cavanaugh wrote:
screwtape wrote: Also, that Queer Kid Stuff channel is truly creepy. I think the teddy bear needs to be placed in protective custody.
If that was a straight dude instead of a dyke, it'd be banned as pedophilia.
I remember trying to watch that (for the lulz) but had to switch it off very quickly. Talk about creepy as fuck!

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5570

Post by Bhurzum » Sun Jun 23, 2019 3:16 pm

Best thing I've read in days!



:lol:

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5571

Post by Bhurzum » Sun Jun 23, 2019 3:24 pm

"Fuck white people. Especially fuck white people!" - Matt Dillahunty, 2019.

(listening to his stream, it's bound to be posted on YT)


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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5572

Post by Matt Cavanaugh » Sun Jun 23, 2019 5:09 pm

Bhurzum wrote:
Lsuoma wrote: So, I have my first DRE tomorrow, from a rather attractive nurse practitioner. She told me when recommending I have one (I'm 60 next year) that she has a good, long strong finger. Here's hoping I manage not to do a Dr Richard C. Carrier, PhD when she presses the button.
Not sure if I've shared this before...

I was struck down by crippling abdominal pain and my innards completely packed in. I was going for 6-7 days without having a movement, was drenched with sweat 24/7 and was convinced the grim reaper was closing in. Anyhoo, after a month of this bullshit, I relented and suffered the indignity of going to hospital - long story short, I had picked up something nasty in Thailand (pun setup #256) which had caused diverticulitis-like signs and symptoms. Took two weeks of pills, weapons-grade laxatives and modified diet to get me lunches moving again.

Anyhoo, during the first 24 hours in the germ factory, I was "seen" by a specialist - a rather meaty and no-nonsense middle-aged woman in a designer business suit with a lab coat over the top. She was pretty fine looking and was wearing the most subtle but arousing perfume I'd ever encountered. Yes, you can see it coming (pun setup #162), part of her initial checks involved her shoving her finger up my crimper!

Now, as you'll be well aware, I'm not the most subtle of chaps and have the same sense of humour as a rabid caveman. As she was digging around in my bomb-bay, I asked her how many of my Army mates I could invite to our wedding? She paused with her investigation(s) and asked me what I was talking about? With what I thought was a cheeky/winning grin, I told her I assumed we were now engaged because she had my ring on her finger.

Seriously, no sense of humour these people.

To compound matters, she told me that I might have a "spasticated colon" (I've got no idea but it sounds bloody awful!) and when I asked if that meant having a wheel chair shoved up my arse, she went fucking mental.

Miserable cow, the face she pulled, you'd think it was her arse that had packed up.

Anyhoo, hope everything goes OK and you don't "gunge" the nurse. At the very least, I hope your nurse is open to a bit of mild banter to lighten the mood.
Seriously you need your own reality TV show.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5573

Post by Bhurzum » Sun Jun 23, 2019 5:25 pm

Matt Cavanaugh wrote: Seriously you need your own reality TV show.
My GF says I need lobotomised, rubber wallpaper and all the mashed banana I can eat.

:(

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5574

Post by Keating » Sun Jun 23, 2019 5:43 pm

A finger is a good place to start, but get back to us when she gets her whole fist in.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5575

Post by Bhurzum » Sun Jun 23, 2019 5:54 pm

Keating wrote: A finger is a good place to start, but get back to us when she gets her whole fist in.
I can just imagine a nurse doing this to FT's prostate...

https://media2.giphy.com/media/26tPrcX6 ... source.gif

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5576

Post by dogen » Sun Jun 23, 2019 6:33 pm

Bhurzum wrote:
Tigzy wrote: Miracleman was great, but for me the standout in British-crazed-superheroness was Grant Morrison's Zenith series. I liked it because it had a super-powered Tory minister who was actually sort of...a good guy. Ish. Pretty daring for the time (and even now), given that anything with the remotest whiff of toryism was (and still is, really) generally regarded by the right-on crowd as total nazi evil. The final volume - Phase 4 - is some astonishingly trippy shit rounded off with a twist which is pretty lolworthy.
My absolute favourite comic-book character is "Sláine" (2000AD character):

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sl%C3%A1ine_(comics)

Even though he's not a superhero in the truest sense, the tales of his exploits are an absolute blast, are deliciously non-pc and the entire saga (massive!) is littered with some very memorable characters and plot-lines. Of particular note, the "Time Killers" story is completely mental and introduced several awesome villains into the lore: Elfric (baby killing general of a demon army - the Cyth), Guledig - the living "Triskele" ruler of the Cyth and one of my favourite villians in all of fiction, The Lord Weird Slough Feg: a rotting and seriously insane version of "The Horned God" who refuses to die (it's complicated!).

https://static.comicvine.com/uploads/or ... _weird.jpg

My parents were really worried about my fascination with Feg :lol:

Seriously though, if anyone hasn't read Sláine and are "into" comics, chances are you'll love the series. Having said that, you'd really need to start from the very begining - if you jumped in half-way, it'd be very, very confusing.
Fuck me, Time Killers was bloody awesome. Good memories, man. Zenith was great too, as was Halo Jones.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5577

Post by Keating » Mon Jun 24, 2019 2:26 am

I didn't really get too much into comics. I love Frank Cho's Liberty Meadows, but I stopped following him after he went to work for Marvel. He did get me into Budd Root's Cavewoman, though:

https://static.comicvine.com/uploads/or ... cooper.jpg

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5578

Post by Cnutella » Mon Jun 24, 2019 3:05 am

Bhurzum wrote:
Tigzy wrote: Miracleman was great, but for me the standout in British-crazed-superheroness was Grant Morrison's Zenith series. I liked it because it had a super-powered Tory minister who was actually sort of...a good guy. Ish. Pretty daring for the time (and even now), given that anything with the remotest whiff of toryism was (and still is, really) generally regarded by the right-on crowd as total nazi evil. The final volume - Phase 4 - is some astonishingly trippy shit rounded off with a twist which is pretty lolworthy.
My absolute favourite comic-book character is "Sláine" (2000AD character):

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sl%C3%A1ine_(comics)

Even though he's not a superhero in the truest sense, the tales of his exploits are an absolute blast, are deliciously non-pc and the entire saga (massive!) is littered with some very memorable characters and plot-lines. Of particular note, the "Time Killers" story is completely
...
Seriously though, if anyone hasn't read Sláine and are "into" comics, chances are you'll love the series. Having said that, you'd really need to start from the very begining - if you jumped in half-way, it'd be very, very confusing.
Obby Oss! Slaine was the absolute tits. The writers really paid attention to Celtic mythology and towards some of the loopier theories regarding neolithic sacred sites, before smushing it all together into a gloriously badass set of stories.

Nemesis the Warlock had its moments also, although it could get a bit preachy.

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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5579

Post by shoutinghorse » Mon Jun 24, 2019 3:10 am

Bhurzum wrote: "Fuck white people. Especially fuck white people!" - Matt Dillahunty, 2019.

(listening to his stream, it's bound to be posted on YT)

Fucking Hell! I haven't watched Dillacunty for ages, he looks ill. :shock:


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Re: You is all a bunch of poofs!

#5580

Post by Tigzy » Mon Jun 24, 2019 3:16 am

Bhurzum wrote: Now, as you'll be well aware, I'm not the most subtle of chaps and have the same sense of humour as a rabid caveman. As she was digging around in my bomb-bay, I asked her how many of my Army mates I could invite to our wedding? She paused with her investigation(s) and asked me what I was talking about? With what I thought was a cheeky/winning grin, I told her I assumed we were now engaged because she had my ring on her finger.

Seriously, no sense of humour these people.

To compound matters, she told me that I might have a "spasticated colon" (I've got no idea but it sounds bloody awful!) and when I asked if that meant having a wheel chair shoved up my arse, she went fucking mental.
:lol: :lol: :lol:

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