Sick in bed yesterday, I re-watched Avengers Infinity War.
Just now, in a sleepless latenight Nyquil fever, I figured out how to repair the damage done by Captain Marvel, to the Marvel Cinematic Universe & by Brie Larson, to our universe. No Captain Marvel spoilers... I haven't seen it. My minor improvements are in feverish red...
Start with the scene where the Guardians of the Galaxy first meet Iron Man, Spider-Man, & Dr. Strange, in the ruins of Thanos' homeworld.
Mantis- the oriental bug-chick empath-- notices Dr. Strange looking like this...
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It's already been established that Spidey is a movie nerd, as he we've seen him invent battle moves based-on 'really old movies' The Empire Strikes Back & Aliens, as well as discussing Footloose with Star-Lord. So Spidey should have a line of dialogue saying that Dr. Strange looks like a VHS tape fast-forwarding & rewinding.
Then Dr. Strange tells Iron Man that he indeed travelled forward in time-- to see 14,000,501 possible futures.
And the good guys win in just 1. Dr. Strange should keep flickering, with the FF>> RWND<< effect. Mantis should put her hand on his temple & see what Strange sees: splice-in the trailer to the Captain Marvel movie, where Brie Larson falls to Earth in a BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO store
Mantis reacts to the Captain Marvel trailer, her face frozen in elongated shock & awe...
Then Thanos shows-up & kicks everyone's ass. Thanos almost kills Tony Stark. Dr. Strange trades his Infinity Stone medallion for Tony's life. Elsewhere in the film, Captain America tells the holographic asshole senator-- that Earth just lost our last-best-hope, Iron Man. If that were true... but Iron Man can't save us this time... then Thanos would win. By tampering with fate-- trading Iron Man's life for someone-else who must die-- Dr. Strange created the one-in-14-million victory scenario. The person who Thanos killed instead of Iron Man... is Spider-Man!
In the scene immediately-prior to the one I just described-- Thor, Rocket Raccoon & Groot travelled to the homeworld of The Collector (Benicio Del Toro). The Collecter held one of the Infinity Stones, but Thanos looted it. In a desperate bid to re-connect with far-flung team-mates,Dr. Strange should use his fiery rings to teleport Mantis to The Collector's lair. But she arrives too late. Everyone's gone. She wanders silently among the piles of looted treasure amassed by The Collector... walking right-past the Monolith from 2001 because why-not?... eventually pausing in front of Edvard Munch's 'The Scream', matching her own Home Alone On VHS facial expression. :o She's still there, staring at the painting, when we briefly see her turn to Thanos-dust, at the end of the movie. Or maybe she lives? Yeah, ok, Mantis lives.
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OK... next... edits to Captain Marvel... which I haven't seen...
The only change necessary is a pre-credits scene, in which a digitally de-aged 1990's Aunt May-- Marissa Tomei in her full My Cousin Vinny bighair glory-- is on a first date with Ben Parker... who will one day be Spidey's "Uncle Ben". The young couple goes to Blockbuster Video, rents 'Scream' or 'Scream 2' or 'Scream 3' or whatever year it is. At the register, May admires a Scream mask. Ben buys it for her.
Back at Ben's 90's-slacker-grunge apartment, the pull bong hits & have sweaty sex with Ben wearing the Scream mask, with the movie playing on the VCR in the background. After Captain Marvel plummets to Earth, crashing into Blockbuster... we see the young May & Ben drive into the strip-mall parking lot, attempting to return the Scream videotape. But the store is demolished. In the flashback-montage scenes of girl & young-woman Captain Marvel overcoming adversity... snippets of The Scream are shown, as well as flashes of Edvard Munch's Scream, and Tyler Durden's penis because 90's. The flashback montages also contain flashes of Marvel Movies which could-have existed in 14 million alternate realities, Spider-verse style, instead of Captain Marvel. Like a movie starring Ant-Man's sidekicks. A Groot solo movie. An all-Stan-Lee-cameo movie. Moon Knight. She-Hulk. Alpha Flight.
Earth reacts to Thanos thanos-ing half of everybody. People have a thousand-yard stare on their faces, like after 9/11. Thanos has apparantly won. But he knows something's-wrong. He knows that Dr. Strange did-something to select the one future where Thanos ultimately fails.
So Thanos tries to solve the mystery. For example, Thanos goes to Dr. Strange's west-village Sanctum Sanctorum & tortures Dr. Strange's assistant Wong, searching for answers. But learns nothing.
Iron Man Tony Stark goes to Queens. He visits Aunt May & tells her that Peter Parker turned to dust in his arms, on a distant planet. Aunt May is distraught. When Iron Man leaves... we see Aunt May enter her living room & run her hand over a wall of old VHS tapes. Titles like Aliens, Footloose & Empire Strikes Back. Mostly home-taped. But one film is still in it's chunk Blockbuster container, never returned. Scream. She flashes-back to all the times Uncle Ben fucked her brains out on the couch, with these films on the VCR in the background. She flashes back to when Uncle Ben was murdered... how she retreated-into re-watching these movies, with young distraught Peter Parker as new viewing companion. We see her reach under the couch & find the old Scream mask, with her 1990's 'rabbit' vibrator tucked inside.
Eventually, we see Thanos' attention occupied with all of Earth's remaining superpowered costumed heroes, trying to overcome him in battle, but failing. No superpowered hero can defeat him. Even villains try & fail. But Aunt May rolls up on Thanos in Sam Raimi's Olds Delta 88. She dons The Scream Mask & whips-out a 90's-ass 9 millimeter, holds it sideways like a 90's blacksploitation film, and pumps a clip into him, shouting a catchphrase from New Jack City or Bad Boys 2 or something.
Thanos is momentarily weakened. Aunt May grabs a crowbar from the car's trunk & pries the glove off his hand. No mortal human can wield an infinity gem & survive... but she doesn't care if she survives. She snaps her fingers & restores all those killed by Thanos. The gauntlet turns on her, gripping her throat. Using her omnipotent willpower-- she will the gauntlet to turn to dust. But it tries to turn her to dust. They go back&forth, each dominant then losing. Finally they both burst into dust. Straight white male alt-right troll fanboys everywhere burst into tears. Brie Larson doesn't understand why they care about a female protagonist.
In a post-credits scene, we see Samuel Ell Nick Fury Jackson in his SUV, just like the end of Infinity War. But instead of getting Thanos'd, its a normal sunny day. He scrolls past Captain Marvel's number... and dials "Booty Call/ Aunt I'd Like To F". Teasing that the next Marvel movie will be an Aunt May porno.