James Caruthers wrote:
Why did Bjarte Foshaug cross the road?
He was walking to work.
Mr and Mrs Foshaug decide to have a baby.
9 months later Mrs. Foshaug gives birth to a slightly grey, but otherwise healthy boy. They name him Bjarte.
A year passes and young Bjarte seems to be getting on fine. He crawls, he shits his nappy and he always eats his frozen peas but something is wrong. For his entire 365 days on Earth young Bjarte has remained utterly silent. Never crying or gurgling. No mumbling or moaning. Completely and utterly
silent.
Another 6 months pass and still Bjarte makes no sound.
Mr and Mrs. Foshaug begin to worry. Surely this isn't normal?
They send him to the doctor who thoroughly examines the child and, after finding nothing physically wrong with him (apart from being slightly grey and insipid looking), Doc decides Bjarte's unusual silence must be some kind of "phase" and attempts to reassure the worried parents by saying that "he'll grow out of it".
Another year passes and still, no sound, no noise, no words from Bjarte.
Mr and Mrs. Foshaug resign themselves to the fact that their child is a mute.
Then, one day, when Bjarte is 5 years old, Mr. and Mrs. Foshaug are sitting down to a dinner of frozen peas with their silent child.
Bjarte places a forkful of peas into his mouth, chews, and then....Stops.
He looks at his parents and says his first ever words:
"These peas are lukewarm"
Mr. and Mrs. Foshaug stare at the child, utterly stunned.
Mrs. Foshaug manages to stutter:
"Y...Y...You can talk!?"
And young Bjarte says:
"Yes"
Mrs. Foshaug, hysterical with joy, says:
"But why didn't you say anything before!?"
And Bjarte replies:
"Because up until now everything was satisfactory."