Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Winkie wanky woo
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What is your favorite sex fantasy involving an FtB blogger?

Bondage with Greta Christina (sub) and the unicorn (switch)
2
4%
Yemmifisting and a 128 oz. tub of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!
3
6%
You, Taslima Nasreen, and Zinnia Jones in the scene from Sartre's No Exit
2
4%
Jason Thibeault finally taking everyone's advice to go fuck himself
8
16%
Stephanie Zvan as the camp commandant from Seven Beauties
1
2%
Dick Carrier, missionary style, still wearing his oxford & socks, literally interpreting your cries of "Oh, God!"
4
8%
Rebecca Watson dressed as Princess Leia (Jabba the Hut version) in an elevator at Comic-Con, after doing about eleven body shots in the hotel bar
9
18%
Jen McCreight inside that cattle squeeze she keeps in her dorm room
6
12%
Ophelia Benson on a ... OK, I just threw up in my mouth a bit
5
10%
PZ Myers' mangina gang-banged by the entire class Cephalopoda ... no wait, that's his fantasy
4
8%
Write-In
5
10%
 
Total votes: 49

Matt Cavanaugh
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Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#1

Post by Matt Cavanaugh »

Admit it, it's true -- we do sexualize the bloggers at FtB, just like Becca claims. After all, it's us puerile sleazes who fixate on sex & bodily functions all the time, not them. We hate them, but we also secretly lust after them.

Now that the cat's out of the bag, we might as well select our Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers. (Note: I left out Ashley F. Miller, as she's still underage.)

deLurch
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#2

Post by deLurch »

None of the above.
None of the above.
None of the above.
None of the above.
None of the above.
NONE OF THE ABOVE!!!

Badger3k
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#3

Post by Badger3k »

Yer a sick, sick person. I voted for three, so what does that make me?

John Greg
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#4

Post by John Greg »

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

All very funny.

Gefan
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#5

Post by Gefan »

No trigger warning, eh?

Thanks a bunch.

http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/im ... g-head.gif

katamari Damassi
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#6

Post by katamari Damassi »

I can't get the image of Svan as the camp commandant from Seven Beauties out of my head now.

The Commandant: "You can't even get an erection."

And now neither can I.

SkepticalCat
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#7

Post by SkepticalCat »

Do one for Cristina Rad and one for Miri (or whatever her name is, the cute one) :)

Matt Cavanaugh
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#8

Post by Matt Cavanaugh »

katamari Damassi wrote:I can't get the image of Svan as the camp commandant from Seven Beauties out of my head now.

The Commandant: "You can't even get an erection."

And now neither can I.
I think photoshops are in order.

Phil_Giordana_FCD
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#9

Post by Phil_Giordana_FCD »

I never vote. At anything. So I'll take option #none#

Gumby
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#10

Post by Gumby »

Matt Cavanaugh wrote:
katamari Damassi wrote:I can't get the image of Svan as the camp commandant from Seven Beauties out of my head now.

The Commandant: "You can't even get an erection."

And now neither can I.
I think photoshops are in order.
http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd24 ... 0a7d62.jpg

Matt Cavanaugh
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#11

Post by Matt Cavanaugh »

http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd24 ... 0a7d62.jpg


"We have ways of making you shut up and listen!"

SkepticalCat
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#12

Post by SkepticalCat »

Gumby wrote:
Matt Cavanaugh wrote:
katamari Damassi wrote:I can't get the image of Svan as the camp commandant from Seven Beauties out of my head now.

The Commandant: "You can't even get an erection."

And now neither can I.
I think photoshops are in order.
http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd24 ... 0a7d62.jpg
The Bronzino in the background is appropriately creepy - nice touch. :clap:

HoneyWagon
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#13

Post by HoneyWagon »

I visit the pit a bit, but can't keep up with all the posts. People are just so busy hating on women and stuff here, that it is hard to read it all.

But I saw this poll, not here in the pit, but linked from the FB feed of a FTB blogger, who wanted to make sure all their readers saw it, and could be suitably raged.

Seems counter productive to hate on "trolls", but then do what trolls like....letting them know you care.

Matt Cavanaugh
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#14

Post by Matt Cavanaugh »

HoneyWagon wrote:People are just so busy hating on women and stuff here, that it is hard to read it all.
How is this "hating on women?" The men got most of the votes.

Since some folks clearly didn't get the jokes (which, if they were paying attention, they'd realize aren't about our fantasies at all), let me give a few hints:

http://freethoughtblogs.com/yemmynistin ... ous-lover/

http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/ ... ood-cause/

http://freethoughtblogs.com/taslima/201 ... boyfriend/


Steph seems to think her body is being ridiculed, when it's really the way she runs her KZ Lager ... err, blog comment stream.


And of course, there's this nugget of atheist wisdom:

http://freethoughtblogs.com/greta/2013/ ... -own-porn/
My dirty stories almost always get their original inspiration from my masturbatory sex fantasies. They usually take twists and turns from the original fantasy, as I work to make the fantasies plausible, or to make the characters more interesting and human, or to find the backstory behind the sex scenes and figure out why these characters are having this sex and what it means to them and how their lives will be different because of it. But the germ of the story is almost always some sexual image that gets me off, and hard.

Skep tickle
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#15

Post by Skep tickle »

Sorry but every time I look at the thread title I shudder.

Nothing special, it's just the juxtaposition of "Top Ten Sex Fantasies" with "with FtB Bloggers". Give me a thread* about actual Top Ten Sex Fantasies any day over this one.

(And yes I get the reference-jokes - most of them, at least.)


*Just a turn of speech, I'm not actually asking for such a thread, nor would I participate in it. {Subsequent line deleted as TMI}

Barael
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#16

Post by Barael »

I think, as a final touch, the options list should've had more men than women on it. Think of the boom in (fainting) couch business.

bovarchist
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#17

Post by bovarchist »

So if the Slymepit creates a poll that Myers can't Pharyngulate, does he turn back into a pumpkin or something?

Badger3k
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#18

Post by Badger3k »

bovarchist wrote:So if the Slymepit creates a poll that Myers can't Pharyngulate, does he turn back into a pumpkin or something?
Considering how small and impotent his "pharyngulation" is these days, I think it's already happened.

Hmm...PZ Myers....Pumpkin.....there's a fantasy for ya'. Maybe Yeminy can write a, er, "poem" about it.

John Greg
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#19

Post by John Greg »

/ahem

...

Sound of FTBees buzzin'

Everythin' gettin' fuzzin'

As you nimble on my squiddles

Your pumpkin in me dribbles

On your fingerses

Oh my pharyngeses ... ula

The sensations so slymery

I'm posting and rhymerly

Screaming in skepchicky

Hopin' tis FTB


/jus sayin'

Badger3k
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#20

Post by Badger3k »

Word!

Kirbmarc
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#21

Post by Kirbmarc »

Miri Mogilevsky, Mistress of Insanity, telling us to shut up and starting to praise and please her already.

Kirbmarc
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

#22

Post by Kirbmarc »

(Oh God, I think I may have destroyed my libido for the next week)

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