VickyCaramel wrote:jet_lagg wrote:
Sometimes straight men on Twitter start a professional conversation with me. They admire my work. They talk shop in a spirited and friendly fashion. And then they start DM’ing to talk. And then they hit on me.
A man friend of mine told me, “The problem is you have an attractive photo and you talk about sex all the time.” Uh. So I changed my photo to my rat’s, and I started talking less about my sex life and restricting myself to talking about sex research. (Too bad, though. Some of my best tweets were things like: “Sex in middle age—when you ask to be on top so you can get the FitBit credit.”)
That slowed down the problem, but it hasn’t ended it. And yeah, I know a lot of my feminist sisters will want to call this sexual harassment, but I think it’s really more like a culture clash, one that has to do with innate sex differences. Men tend to see the whole world as a safe place to look for sex. And I’m a woman who writes openly about sex, so they think I’m comfortable being solicited.
http://alicedreger.com/trolls
[fuck the shitty quote coding on the slymepit]Carrier is a PUA who thinks paying lip service to feminism will absolve him of his sins.
As for Alice Dreger, I'm not familiar, but just from reading this I like her. She's spot on about it being a culture clash, and I don't doubt it's irritating as hell to be hit on night and day. I get livid if I'm asked for change more than once on my way to the subway. "Who are these people? Do they think they're entitled to my money, or even my time?" From their perspective it's a brand new encounter and I'm just being an asshole. For me they're part of a series of a events that I think they should be aware of.[/quote]
It is part of life. Yesterday a 30 year old hit on me, it made me feel good even though it was a bit ham fisted. If I didn't get hit on I would be looking in the mirror wondering what I was doing wrong. But it is annoying as fuck most of the time, especially when some ugly loser is throwing you cheesy chat-up lines... my deep down reaction is, "How dare you, I am way out of your league".
But what really annoys me is having to do some work. Often flattery is thrown my way, the law of reciprocity means I have to at the very least respond by saying "thank you" and telling them they are very kind for mentioning it. Or I could be a complete bitch, either way it's my choice and I have all the power. It is an annoyance I discuss with my friends, especially the nasty approaches (because you do get "A white bitch belongs on a black dick" type opening lines), but I don't think it is something worth bitching about in public, firstly because it is just the way it is. Secondly I don't want to sound like I am actually boasting even though it seems pretty obvious that it is something the vast majority of women seem to go through to some degree.
First world problems.[/fuck the shitty quote coding on the slymepit]
That is because all the onus is on men to ask women out, even studs get so immune to rejection, men end up thinking why the hell not as she can only say no. Women wouldn't last five seconds in the dating game if they had to put up with the rejection rate men tolerate. Christ just look at modern society which is bent on catering to women's self esteem issues (the never ending industry). Don't want to be hit on then change the rules about asking men out and suffer the consequences.
To be fair you recognize there is a problem but walk a mile in men's moccasins and it will be a real eye opener.