# Geek Goddesson 19 Feb 2013 at 4:31 pm
I really liked your post, Dr. Hall. I have read your book and am well aware of what you went through in your career to get to where you are today. And I’m heartily sick of the squabbling that’s going on in the community, along with the pettiness and the two-year-old sandbox “you can’t be my friend if you’re friends with her†mentality.
At first I was amused at the finer and finer mesh that people use to strain your posts through, looking for tiny and tiny bits to use as ammo. And then I was disgusted. And then really angry. It takes a lot to make me angry enough to want to rant at someone.
You are obviously just not young, hip, thin, cute, clever, or hard-drinking enough to be popular, and your experiences aren’t worthy. You aren’t even very smart (regardless of that medical degree you seem so proud of). I’m in the same boat. My advanced age means that my STEM degree, my years of working in a industry that is less than 5% female, and managing to rise to the top and earn a 6-figure salary, a company car, availability of a private jet, and bonuses more than most people’s salaries, means I also do not know a damn thing about what women have to struggle with to succeed in any business, must less a good-old-boy one. Having professors tell me that I was taking a slot away from a man, who MIGHT HAVE TO SUPPORT A FAMILY, wasn’t harassment or life-changing. (I spend all my salary on trivial things, apparently.) And since I’m no longer young, hip, thin, cute, clever, or hard-driking enough to be hit on in bars, I don’t understand the harassment that women face. Sometimes, when some of us state that we do not feel unsafe, or haven’t been harassed at a conference, not only are we accusing women of making it it, or exaggerating, etc., I hear the unspoken words “Of course YOU haven’t been harassed or attacked. Because you are not young, hip, thing, cute, etc.†Yep, I was told this. The ugly unspoken little secret among some women.
I’ve had it. Who am I? In the skeptical community, I’m nobody. I don’t speak, I don’t write. I’m busy running a business. A real one, that makes money, employs people, pays (a lot) of taxes. The only thing I do is write checks to support others in the skeptical community. I quit doing that last year. No one gives a crap what I think, and that’s just fine with me.
A couple years ago, via Twitter, I responded to someone about a group not being inclusive, and used as example something along the lines of “Such as the Skepchicks not representing older women.†That’s a paraphrase. I didn’t think anything of it, until that evening, my fellow Houston Skeptics founder and part-time writer for the skepchick.org blog, Sam, called my cell phone and asked me “what the hell did you do to piss off the Skephicks?†I had no idea, but apparently I was being shredded for my remarks that were being taken as criticism. WTF When I got home, I tried to look up what was going on, and saw comments like “People hate us because we’re so accomplishedâ€. Okaaaaay. Whatever.
I took one of the two pictures that were widely circulated of you, Dr. Hall. I am distressed that it caused you so much grief, but I still think it was a great shirt. The first use of skepchick is NOT from the blogger site Skepchick.org. I found one here – 1999.
http://www.magicdave.com/sccal/skepchicks.htm. Like it or not, the term is not copyrighted or original to Rebecca, so when she assumes that it was an attack on her, or on the various other come-and-go bloggers on that site, she is wrong. But, apparently, one is free to ascribe motives on other people, the proven inability of mind-reading to actually work be damned. What a hateful, snarky comment she wrote above. Makes me want to chastise Rebecca for vomiting so much, after nights of drinking, in her shared cabin on that cruise that her roomie had to help clean both the room and Rebecca, and paid the cabin attendant extra tips out of her own pocket for his trouble. Because, you know, that would be MEAN and spiteful. And belittling people because you disagree with them isn’t intelligent, or respectful, or professional.