Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Winkie wanky woo

What is your favorite sex fantasy involving an FtB blogger?

Bondage with Greta Christina (sub) and the unicorn (switch)
2
5%
Yemmifisting and a 128 oz. tub of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!
3
7%
You, Taslima Nasreen, and Zinnia Jones in the scene from Sartre's No Exit
1
2%
Jason Thibeault finally taking everyone's advice to go fuck himself
7
17%
Stephanie Zvan as the camp commandant from Seven Beauties
0
No votes
Dick Carrier, missionary style, still wearing his oxford & socks, literally interpreting your cries of "Oh, God!"
3
7%
Rebecca Watson dressed as Princess Leia (Jabba the Hut version) in an elevator at Comic-Con, after doing about eleven body shots in the hotel bar
7
17%
Jen McCreight inside that cattle squeeze she keeps in her dorm room
5
12%
Ophelia Benson on a ... OK, I just threw up in my mouth a bit
4
10%
PZ Myers' mangina gang-banged by the entire class Cephalopoda ... no wait, that's his fantasy
4
10%
Write-In
5
12%
 
Total votes : 41

Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Postby Matt Cavanaugh » Fri Jul 26, 2013 10:53 am  •  [Post 1]

Admit it, it's true -- we do sexualize the bloggers at FtB, just like Becca claims. After all, it's us puerile sleazes who fixate on sex & bodily functions all the time, not them. We hate them, but we also secretly lust after them.

Now that the cat's out of the bag, we might as well select our Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers. (Note: I left out Ashley F. Miller, as she's still underage.)
"They're so far up their own asses, they've gone full klein bottle. Never go full klein bottle." -- Welch
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Postby deLurch » Fri Jul 26, 2013 11:55 am  •  [Post 2]

None of the above.
None of the above.
None of the above.
None of the above.
None of the above.
NONE OF THE ABOVE!!!
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Postby Badger3k » Fri Jul 26, 2013 12:43 pm  •  [Post 3]

Yer a sick, sick person. I voted for three, so what does that make me?
PZ Myers definition of irony - 8 October 2013 at 9:15 am (UTC -5) "You don’t get to simultaneously adopt a snide, superior tone AND claim that you’re a martyr"
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Postby John Greg » Fri Jul 26, 2013 1:31 pm  •  [Post 4]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

All very funny.
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Postby Gefan » Fri Jul 26, 2013 1:43 pm  •  [Post 5]

No trigger warning, eh?

Thanks a bunch.

Image
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Postby katamari Damassi » Fri Jul 26, 2013 5:03 pm  •  [Post 6]

I can't get the image of Svan as the camp commandant from Seven Beauties out of my head now.

The Commandant: "You can't even get an erection."

And now neither can I.
"If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary." David Sedaris
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Postby SkepticalCat » Fri Jul 26, 2013 5:48 pm  •  [Post 7]

Do one for Cristina Rad and one for Miri (or whatever her name is, the cute one) :)
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Postby Matt Cavanaugh » Fri Jul 26, 2013 6:27 pm  •  [Post 8]

katamari Damassi wrote:I can't get the image of Svan as the camp commandant from Seven Beauties out of my head now.

The Commandant: "You can't even get an erection."

And now neither can I.

I think photoshops are in order.
"They're so far up their own asses, they've gone full klein bottle. Never go full klein bottle." -- Welch
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Postby Phil_Giordana_FCD » Sat Jul 27, 2013 2:25 am  •  [Post 9]

I never vote. At anything. So I'll take option #none#
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Postby Gumby » Sat Jul 27, 2013 7:07 am  •  [Post 10]

Matt Cavanaugh wrote:
katamari Damassi wrote:I can't get the image of Svan as the camp commandant from Seven Beauties out of my head now.

The Commandant: "You can't even get an erection."

And now neither can I.

I think photoshops are in order.


Image
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Postby Matt Cavanaugh » Sat Jul 27, 2013 2:28 pm  •  [Post 11]

Image


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"They're so far up their own asses, they've gone full klein bottle. Never go full klein bottle." -- Welch
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Postby SkepticalCat » Sun Jul 28, 2013 7:46 pm  •  [Post 12]

Gumby wrote:
Matt Cavanaugh wrote:
katamari Damassi wrote:I can't get the image of Svan as the camp commandant from Seven Beauties out of my head now.

The Commandant: "You can't even get an erection."

And now neither can I.

I think photoshops are in order.


Image


The Bronzino in the background is appropriately creepy - nice touch. :clap:
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Postby HoneyWagon » Thu Aug 01, 2013 10:12 pm  •  [Post 13]

I visit the pit a bit, but can't keep up with all the posts. People are just so busy hating on women and stuff here, that it is hard to read it all.

But I saw this poll, not here in the pit, but linked from the FB feed of a FTB blogger, who wanted to make sure all their readers saw it, and could be suitably raged.

Seems counter productive to hate on "trolls", but then do what trolls like....letting them know you care.
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Postby Matt Cavanaugh » Thu Aug 01, 2013 11:17 pm  •  [Post 14]

HoneyWagon wrote:People are just so busy hating on women and stuff here, that it is hard to read it all.


How is this "hating on women?" The men got most of the votes.

Since some folks clearly didn't get the jokes (which, if they were paying attention, they'd realize aren't about our fantasies at all), let me give a few hints:

http://freethoughtblogs.com/yemmynistin ... ous-lover/

http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/ ... ood-cause/

http://freethoughtblogs.com/taslima/201 ... boyfriend/


Steph seems to think her body is being ridiculed, when it's really the way she runs her KZ Lager ... err, blog comment stream.


And of course, there's this nugget of atheist wisdom:

http://freethoughtblogs.com/greta/2013/ ... -own-porn/

My dirty stories almost always get their original inspiration from my masturbatory sex fantasies. They usually take twists and turns from the original fantasy, as I work to make the fantasies plausible, or to make the characters more interesting and human, or to find the backstory behind the sex scenes and figure out why these characters are having this sex and what it means to them and how their lives will be different because of it. But the germ of the story is almost always some sexual image that gets me off, and hard.
"They're so far up their own asses, they've gone full klein bottle. Never go full klein bottle." -- Welch
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Postby Skep tickle » Thu Aug 01, 2013 11:30 pm  •  [Post 15]

Sorry but every time I look at the thread title I shudder.

Nothing special, it's just the juxtaposition of "Top Ten Sex Fantasies" with "with FtB Bloggers". Give me a thread* about actual Top Ten Sex Fantasies any day over this one.

(And yes I get the reference-jokes - most of them, at least.)


*Just a turn of speech, I'm not actually asking for such a thread, nor would I participate in it. {Subsequent line deleted as TMI}
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Postby Barael » Thu Aug 01, 2013 11:58 pm  •  [Post 16]

I think, as a final touch, the options list should've had more men than women on it. Think of the boom in (fainting) couch business.
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Postby bovarchist » Fri Aug 02, 2013 2:26 pm  •  [Post 17]

So if the Slymepit creates a poll that Myers can't Pharyngulate, does he turn back into a pumpkin or something?
"The irresistible palm just met the immovable face"
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Postby Badger3k » Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:44 pm  •  [Post 18]

bovarchist wrote:So if the Slymepit creates a poll that Myers can't Pharyngulate, does he turn back into a pumpkin or something?


Considering how small and impotent his "pharyngulation" is these days, I think it's already happened.

Hmm...PZ Myers....Pumpkin.....there's a fantasy for ya'. Maybe Yeminy can write a, er, "poem" about it.
PZ Myers definition of irony - 8 October 2013 at 9:15 am (UTC -5) "You don’t get to simultaneously adopt a snide, superior tone AND claim that you’re a martyr"
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Postby John Greg » Fri Aug 02, 2013 9:38 pm  •  [Post 19]

/ahem

...

Sound of FTBees buzzin'

Everythin' gettin' fuzzin'

As you nimble on my squiddles

Your pumpkin in me dribbles

On your fingerses

Oh my pharyngeses ... ula

The sensations so slymery

I'm posting and rhymerly

Screaming in skepchicky

Hopin' tis FTB


/jus sayin'
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Re: Top Ten Sex Fantasies with FtB Bloggers

Postby Badger3k » Fri Aug 02, 2013 10:23 pm  •  [Post 20]

Word!
PZ Myers definition of irony - 8 October 2013 at 9:15 am (UTC -5) "You don’t get to simultaneously adopt a snide, superior tone AND claim that you’re a martyr"
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